She got it from her Momma!!

It's been a minute since I've blogged anything. And to be honest, I don't know why that is! I 've been a bit preoccupied with other things, so we'll go with that as an excuse. =)

I had the opportunity to travel to Barcelona recently and I just KNEW I'd come back full of revelation about life, love, or at least something interesting I'd experienced while away.

I did have a couple epiphanies while walking through La Sagrada Familia, even thought of a few titles for a new entry while dining on some fab wine and paella on Las Ramblas. Unfortunately, even with the new surroundings, climate, and the Med. within walking distance, it didn't happen.

During the last week, though...something clicked.

Recently, after being together 41 years, and married 38 , my parents divorced. To say this was devestating would be an understatement.

During the split, I've seen my mother go through a tremendous transformation. She's old school. So, her mantra was simply to be the best wife and mother she could be. Everything she did was done with someone else in mind. The way she styled her hair, the clothes she wore, how she walked, talked, and presented herself. Even the food we consumed...everything about her was done in a way that would make my dad, brothers and I proud to call her Wife and Mom.

Throughout her transition from being married to entering the world of singledom, our relationship has grown closer than I'd ever thought it could be. We've cried together, cussed together, laughed, dreamed about what it would be like once we came out of all this... talked about relationships and the trials and tribulations we go through as a result. She's even asked me advice on how I've coped being single. You name it and we've experienced it together.

Wednesday, she took another big step, and plunged into the world of homeownership. Now, I know this isn't a big thing...folks buy and sell property daily. But for Mom, this was HUGE!

She's gone from being this shy, soft spoken, churchgoing sista to negotiating interest rates, selling the home she and my father shared, and telling her real estate agent what she wants done and when she expects it to happen.... all within a space of less than 6 months. Seeing the transition she's made has even caused me take a couple steps back!!

I now view her in the same way that she looks at me when celebrating my accomplishments! I see her through the eyes of a daughter who is more than proud. But realistically speaking, I see myself.

Seeing Mom weather this storm has caused me to really understand and embrace what I'm made of.

I see the strength, wisdom, and tenacity that make up the fiber of my own existence. I recognize how and why I'm able to persevere in the midst of adversity. I now understand why, no matter how rough things get, I'm still able to keep it moving and see my way out of the turbulence that surrounds me.

I see my destiny.

I don't have to walk around down trodden and telling every person I come in contact with about my woes and sorrows. I can go through drama, but I can do so with dignity and grace.

Mom has gone to hell and back, but she's done so unscathed, without bitterness, and with no regrets.

If I can be half the woman she is...I think I'll be alright. In fact, I know I will be!

The next time someone compliments me on how well I've handled crisis, or asks where my strength comes from, I will proudly and boldy say....

I got it from my Momma!!


Until next time...

PosB

The little things...

It's so easy to get bogged down in this journey we call life.

So much is happening around us, it's sometimes difficult to find our way or even see things through the next step, let alone the next level.

With the tragedy we've witnessed over the last week in the Gulf Coast, I think each of us has taken time out just to reflect on our own falliability, and the preciousness of life.

I can only hope that we continue to be reflective of our lives, and how we can contribute to the greater good in some way.

But, I'm also in limbo. As with any tragic experience, I'm left looking at my own life and thinking "What next?" "What's my destiny?" "How can I help?"

In this state of introspection, though, I've learned what I think is a prominent life lesson.

It truly is about the little things.

I think as Westerners we have mastered the ability to celebrate big. We can tout our successes, and gloat about our accomplishments. But, in reality, it's not so much about the big wins. As cliche as it sounds, we have to take a step back, and smell the roses. In fact, I'd say that we have to first recognize the rose even exists before taking the time to appreciate its beauty.

The so called little things are what's most important. Those tiny successes that we forget to recognize are paramount in the overal scope of our existence.

The sun rising, the moon providing light in the darkness...A star shooting across the sky. The fresh smell of coffee in the morning. Cool water when the sun is shining bright. Waking up in the morning. Having life, health, and strength. The ability to think and express. Having hope. Exuding grace in the midst of pressure. Being true to yourself in a would be compromising situation. Each of these things has its place in showing us the beauty of our existence, and how our lives have value.

Our success isn't in the brass ring we're constantly chasing. Material gain is irrelevant.

It's about those things that at one time, didn't seem to matter, seeing the value in the little things in life, celebrating the small wins, and understanding that nothing, absolutely nothing in this life is guaranteed.

When I consider my own life, the things that I'm most proud of aren't neccessarily in the end result, but in the journey I endured while working towards the goal. It was during the process tha I discovered my strengths and weaknesses, and learned the most about who I am as a human and as a woman.

We're stronger than we often realize. But it's not until we look back in retrospect that we recongize our success was actually the culmination of multiple wins consisting of distinct, consistent, sometimes iterative steps that when combined, created a bang!!

Seemingly insignificant wins are worth celebrating. Our quality of life depends on not what we do with the big successes, but how we appreciate the small ones.

The little things are really what matters most.

PosB

We Have a Choice

Like yourself, I've been glued to the TV and internet over the last few days with the devastation that's taken place on the Gulf Coast of the US.

I was born in Biloxi, MS at Keesler AFB and New Orleans is where I call home. My mother and father were both born and raised in the city, as were both sets of Grandparents, aunts,uncles, cousins and extended family.

I am just in awe of what I'm witnessing. I won't even begin to discuss the looting and lawlessness.

Deep inside, though, I feel that at this point...we have a choice.

Since Saturday, I have been in a state of dispair, hurt, depression, anger and any other negative emotion you can contrive. I've not slept, made countless phone calls back to family in MS and LA trying to account for everyone. I've even been asked to start insurance and FEMA claims online for family who can't get through, or arent' able to get to the internet to do it themselves.

But as I said, we have a choice.

I say we because this isn't a case of just my family and loved ones. This is a case of us doing everything we can for our fellow brothers and sisters....known and unknown.

We have a choice to mobilize and transfer the negatitive energy about who's doing or not doing enough, into doing what WE can to create positive change.

We can choose to be glued to the television and succumb to the dispair we're witnessing or use that time and energy to get to work doing all the things we talk about in church every Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday and Friday.

We can choose to sympathize with our fellow man instead of passing judgement about the moral issues of what we're seeing.

We can seek out the good stories of people helping others instead of focusing on those few who would choose to act in a way that is in my opinion, completely unexplainable.

This could easily be any one of us. In any part of the US or the World....none of us is exempt from experiencing tragedy.

I charge you to, today...make a choice. Make a concerted effort to do what you can to live the best life that you can right now. Do what you can to make a difference in your families and your communities.

This is only the beginning....we have a long road ahead. But today, right now.....make a choice.

PosB