Balance
Wow! It's been a minute hasn't it.
It's been crazy busy for me...work has had a sista here there and everywhere. But, I'm settled down a bit, and hopefully can make more time to create new entries.
As you know, and have probably gathered from previous blogs, I'm always in a place of introspection. I constantly question mine and other's motives...so I find it interesting when others aren't capable or just simply don't want to do the same. It's almost surreal to me. But...perhaps that's for another post! =)
Last night, I had the pleasure of attending a bridal shower for a friend from church. It was a lovely evening...we hired a couple beauty therapists to do facials, manicures and pedicures for the attendees, ate way too much and even had a few glasses of Pinot Grigiot to round out the evening!
Towards the middle of the night, we had an Ann Summers rep to come in and show us a few naughty but nice items. For those of you not familar, Ann Summers is the UK version of Victorias Secret, Frederick's of Hollywood and Adam and Eve rolled into one. They do everything from your run of the mill cute lingerie sets and pj's to vibes, lubes and everything else you can think of.
Now...let me give you a little background info. The women at the shower are all from the Afro-Carribbean community here in the UK. The bride is 25 still a virgin and was as green as the lawns at Wimbledon. She's getting married Friday and as of last night, hadn't given the least bit of thought to birth control. When asked if she was using some form of contraception, her response was..."well, I know we don't want kids right away...but I just didn't think about getting on the pill before the wedding." *insert bulging eyes here* There was another attendee who I believe is 43. She is also a virgin...and was totally incapable of understanding why a woman would ever want or need to purchase sexy lingerie...let alone any of the other items that were on display.
Now...I'm not a saint, but I'm certainly not someone who's out there giving myself to anyone who comes along. I live my life with a set of standards that I refuse to lower for anyone. But for some reason, I felt like I was simply in another world. It was borderline surreal...and shocking to say the least. There were women of various ages and experience levels. Some married, a few single...but I don't think I've ever been in a room with so many sexually repressed people in all my life. I actually witnessed a woman who has been married for 20+ years with grown children become visibly ill at the mention of oral sex. What was that about?!!! And get this...we were talking about receiving...not giving!!! Can you imagine?!! I'm still in awe from that one. The sister of the bride didn't even know what a garter was. *insert more bulging eyes*
I mean, I was raised in the Church...but my parents were always real and up front with me when it came to my curiosity about my own sexualtiy and just being educated about what I was experiencing as I developed into womanhood.
So, I guess I'm shocked that there are those who somehow think that as spiritually in tune church-going women, somehow, we are no longer allowed to have sexual desires. Why are we made to feel that by being liberated about our sensual likes and dislikes that we're wrong for doing so?
I'm so thankful that I've arrived to a place in my spiritual journey that I can be free to be me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not condoning living a life of promiscuity and no restraint. I believe we should have a balanced viewpoint of life and love.
We should be able to be real about where we are in our walk and not be afraid or ashamed for being, well...human.
It's a cool thing when you can be unapologetic about who you are. I can be spiritually grounded, sensual, and celebratory of the woman I am. And you know what...that's ok.
I hope I never get to a place where I loose my balance and pray that I'm always able to question without fear of reprisal.
PosB
It's been crazy busy for me...work has had a sista here there and everywhere. But, I'm settled down a bit, and hopefully can make more time to create new entries.
As you know, and have probably gathered from previous blogs, I'm always in a place of introspection. I constantly question mine and other's motives...so I find it interesting when others aren't capable or just simply don't want to do the same. It's almost surreal to me. But...perhaps that's for another post! =)
Last night, I had the pleasure of attending a bridal shower for a friend from church. It was a lovely evening...we hired a couple beauty therapists to do facials, manicures and pedicures for the attendees, ate way too much and even had a few glasses of Pinot Grigiot to round out the evening!
Towards the middle of the night, we had an Ann Summers rep to come in and show us a few naughty but nice items. For those of you not familar, Ann Summers is the UK version of Victorias Secret, Frederick's of Hollywood and Adam and Eve rolled into one. They do everything from your run of the mill cute lingerie sets and pj's to vibes, lubes and everything else you can think of.
Now...let me give you a little background info. The women at the shower are all from the Afro-Carribbean community here in the UK. The bride is 25 still a virgin and was as green as the lawns at Wimbledon. She's getting married Friday and as of last night, hadn't given the least bit of thought to birth control. When asked if she was using some form of contraception, her response was..."well, I know we don't want kids right away...but I just didn't think about getting on the pill before the wedding." *insert bulging eyes here* There was another attendee who I believe is 43. She is also a virgin...and was totally incapable of understanding why a woman would ever want or need to purchase sexy lingerie...let alone any of the other items that were on display.
Now...I'm not a saint, but I'm certainly not someone who's out there giving myself to anyone who comes along. I live my life with a set of standards that I refuse to lower for anyone. But for some reason, I felt like I was simply in another world. It was borderline surreal...and shocking to say the least. There were women of various ages and experience levels. Some married, a few single...but I don't think I've ever been in a room with so many sexually repressed people in all my life. I actually witnessed a woman who has been married for 20+ years with grown children become visibly ill at the mention of oral sex. What was that about?!!! And get this...we were talking about receiving...not giving!!! Can you imagine?!! I'm still in awe from that one. The sister of the bride didn't even know what a garter was. *insert more bulging eyes*
I mean, I was raised in the Church...but my parents were always real and up front with me when it came to my curiosity about my own sexualtiy and just being educated about what I was experiencing as I developed into womanhood.
So, I guess I'm shocked that there are those who somehow think that as spiritually in tune church-going women, somehow, we are no longer allowed to have sexual desires. Why are we made to feel that by being liberated about our sensual likes and dislikes that we're wrong for doing so?
I'm so thankful that I've arrived to a place in my spiritual journey that I can be free to be me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not condoning living a life of promiscuity and no restraint. I believe we should have a balanced viewpoint of life and love.
We should be able to be real about where we are in our walk and not be afraid or ashamed for being, well...human.
It's a cool thing when you can be unapologetic about who you are. I can be spiritually grounded, sensual, and celebratory of the woman I am. And you know what...that's ok.
I hope I never get to a place where I loose my balance and pray that I'm always able to question without fear of reprisal.
PosB
posted by PositivBlack at 1:59 PM
1 Comments:
LOL...ok, FINALLY you gave a post that didn't make me cry. But I'mma bout to hurt myself laffing over here. I don't think I know a virgin...where do you find those?
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